Well, I'm back to classes. It's been a long time and it feels weird to be back at school. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed again. I always do this to myself. I hate to go to school and work full time. It's a lot for my poor attention span to handle.
I wake up between 3 and 4 AM most mornings for work and then go to class at night. By the time I get home from work I'm too tired to do anything but sleep. So I take a nap until it's time to leave for class. Then I trudge my way to my car and drive the half hour to campus (killing my wallet on gas). I get here and immediately think that I just want to go home. I know I need to finish these classes to get my degree, but I really wish I didn't have to.
On top of all that I injured my shoulder pretty badly. It's nerve damage so there really isn't much for me to do about it. I ice it which is really only numbing as much of it as I can, but that only helps for a while. My doctor put me on some meds that were really helping my shoulder, but they were causing some other serious side effects. I was having nightmares every night, barely sleeping otherwise, and my depression was worsening. I spent a good hour texting my best friend about all of the bad things and she was able to keep me calm and get my head on straight. So now I'm off of those meds and my shoulder is worse than ever. It hurts to put any pressure on it. Which is pretty much every second of the day.
Ok, so I know I'm just ranting, but I just feel like I need to talk to someone. Not that anyone even reads this. I would say I don't care, but I do.
I'm in the middle of a job search right now. I've put out 15+ applications and just got my first call back. I really hope something works out because I can barely stand my job as it is. The management is terrible and I dread going to work every day. I'm exhausted just from being angry. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but I think I spend up so much of my energy being mad that I just don't have any left for anything else.
I'm also hoping to be moving soon. I'm not really sure when that is going to happen, or even if it is going to happen this year. I don't want to doubt, but it's always there whispering in the back of my mind, telling me that I should listen. I already have a third of my books packed, which is a really big deal for me. I hate to put books in boxes. I don't like them packed away where I can't get to them. I was so confident that moving was going to happen soon. Sadly things are getting in the way of that.
I'm getting lonely at work. Almost all of my friends have left and the people that remain at the store are either people I despise or people I can tolerate (only a handful are actually my friends aside from these two categories).
Ok, I think I'm done with this rant. Not that anyone is going to read it.